Movie Reviews – Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
January 24, 2011 by TwilightMoviesUS
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Movie Reviews – Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
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Home Page > Business > Movie Reviews – Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
Movie Reviews – Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
Posted: Jan 24, 2011 |Comments: 0
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Movie Reviews this week looks at the enjoyable teen fantasy Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant. Regardless of the strange title of this movie, it follows in the vein of Twilight, as a couple of teen fantasy movies have tried to emulate since the massive success of Twilight and it’s sequel New Moon.
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant stars Chris Massoglia as Darren Shan, a well meaning, high achieving teenager, pleasing his parents, and doing well at school, even so his greatest friend Steve played by Josh Hutcherson (Robin William’s son in RV) is regarded as bad organization for Darren notably by his parents, and he is given an ultimatum after obtaining in trouble on account of Steve, to never see him once more. As with any typical teenager feeling the want to rebel (there is a funny sequence where his father tells him, what is expected of him, college, job, family, repeatedly in that order, until Darren sees himself repeating those words to his own child).
Whilst the two friends are hanging out, a mysterious limo drives by and out of it comes a flyer for a circus show, entitled Cirque Du Freak, hence the title of the movie, Steve as typical as the antagonist in a movie challenges Darren to come with him and attend it. It turns out Steve has a fascination for vampires, even though Darren on the other hand has a fascination for spiders. On attending the Cirque Du Freak show, where a parade of circus freaks are shown for the audience’s amusement, notably a woman who can regenerate limbs, Corma Limbs played by Jane Krakowski (completely hilarious in 30 Rock), and Evra the snake boy, played amusingly by Patrick Fugit, as well as a monkey girl, Rebecca played by the adorable Jessica Carlson, there is a lovely scene where Darren asks her what her “freakishness” is, and she states bluntly she is a monkey girl, pauses for effect and states she has a tail, and stares at him for any hint at ridicule.
Although watching 1 of the performances of a specific Larten Crepsley played charmingly by John C. Reilley (Step Brothers), Steve recognises him from 1 of his vampire books, and assures Darren he is a vampire, interestingly Larten overhears the two boys and gives them a warning not to spread mindless gossip. Darren on the other hand is fascinated by Larten’s spider, and after the show, breaks into his room and steals it; but not prior to discovering Steve pleading with Larten to make him a vampire whilst hidden in the same room. Larten and his friend Gavner Purl played by Willem Dafoe (Spiderman) refuses, and after Larten tests his blood, he rapidly spits it out and says Steve has bad blood. It turns out that there are two kinds of vampires, that have chosen distinct paths, the Vampaneze who prefer feeding and killing humans, and the other people who do not, but prefer to hypnotize them, then feed on them.
Darren takes Larten’s spider, and the next day at school, even though Steve assumes he is talking to his locker, Steve opens Darren’s bag and reveals the spider, which eventually bites Steve. With Steve facing imminent death, Darren goes back to the Cirque Du Freak and asks Larten if he has an antidote for the spider’s bite.
A mysterious character called Mr Tiny played by Michael Cerveris (he has one of those faces that seem strangely familiar but not fairly certain where), who has the power to bring people back to life, has been looking forward for a conflict between the Vampaneze and the other people for sometime, and he sees it in the destiny of the two boys, he would like Darren to join the Vampaneze, but Larten on finding about this, realises that there may well be a lot more to the boy than meets the eye, he tests his blood, and agrees to make him a half-vampire, i.e. being able to go out in the sun, and do his errands for him, nevertheless Larten’s girlfriend Madame Truska played by Salma Hayek (From Dusk Till Dawn [for a second recalling From Dusk Till Dawn 1 would expect her to be one of the vampires, but here she is a member of the Cirque Du Freak as a fortune-telling bearded lady]), urges Larten not to turn Darren into a vampire, after having a premonition. Darren initially reluctant finally agrees to this in order to save his friend’s life. Larten then tells him he can no longer stay with his family and so he ought to die (or at least give the impression he is dead).
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant is an enjoyable fantasy movie with numerous characters that must be developed even far more in a sequel or two, and even though the name may possibly emit tales of horror it is a a lot more a teen romantic fantasy than anything else.
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Movie Reviews – Cirque Du Freak – The Vampire’s Assistant
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Twitter.com – Follow Us! Watch this Stephenie Meyer interview for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Stephenie talks about the love triangle between Bella, Edward and Jacob. She also tells why it has been so great working with the writers of the movie and how her books translate to film. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse movie finally hits theaters on June 30th, 2010! Don’t miss it! Twilight Saga: Eclipse footage is courtesy of Summit Entertainment
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Watch vampires suck online free
January 17, 2011 by TwilightMoviesUS
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Watch vampires suck online free
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Watch vampires suck online free
VAMPIRES SUCK
Hey! I don’t know a single person who has not watch a single movie of the sensational box office, Twilight Saga. It has been the most talked about book series, adapted to film starred by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.
But who would have guessed that later on a new release will come? Maybe not the most anticipated sequel of the Twilight, yet it’s the movie that will surely divert the attention of Twilight and non-Twilight fans into a different outlook regarding the humour of the characters.
VAMPIRES SUCK is a comedy spoof about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. The movie written and directed by Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer starred by Jenn Proske, Chris Riggi, Matt Lanter, Ken Jeong, Arielle Kebbel will be out on August 18, 2010.
Synopsis:
From the folks who brought you Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet The Spartans and Disaster Movie comes Vampires Suck. Becca (Bella), an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca’s friends contend with their own romantic issues — all of which collide at the prom.
Vampires Suck will surely take a bite out of New Moon. Go ahead! Have a laugh watching the movie right only here. Check out the trailer below and get ready to see the “Black Eyed Peas” and see Jacob jump above Becca and lands in his chihuahua form.
Warning: For the love of sanity, taking the movie seriously is not advised.
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Watch Vampires Suck Online Free
Vampires Suck is an upcoming comedy film directed by Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, it stars Ken Jeong, Matt Lanter, Charlie Weber, Marcelle Baer, Chris Riggi, Jenn Proske. The film is slated to be release globally on August 18, 2010 under 20th Century Fox. Vampires Suck (2010) film is a spoof of the vampire movie genre, but mostly The Twilight Saga. It tells the story of Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlli
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“Dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!” Words from the most respected Dr Peter Venkman.
Ok, maybe we cannot live with that if we’ll temporarily put aside the ages old of canine-feline fighting in this upcoming sequel of 2001’s Cats and Dogs, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. The Digital 3-D, adventure, comedy film is directed by Brad Peyton and written by Ron J. Friedman & Steve Bencich, based on characters created by John Requa & Glen
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The Tale Of A Vampire’s And A Werewolf’s Common Human Love Interest
January 17, 2011 by TwilightMoviesUS
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The Tale Of A Vampire’s And A Werewolf’s Common Human Love Interest
Posted: Sep 24, 2010 |Comments: 0
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Two very interesting imaginary characters- vampires and werewolves are more often than not placed against each other to spice up the drama of a horror flick. When played well along with a strong plot and dramatic sequence, it can be very gripping for the audience and be the key to success for the movie. The Twilight movies have tried capturing this same essence.
The Twilight series written by Stephenie Meyer is a collection of four books- Twilight, New moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, each one has been transformed into reels from pages, with the exception of Breaking Dawn, that too would be available for cinematic experience in some time.
Edward Cullen is the enticing vampire and Jacob Black, the werewolf as well as the soul mate of Bella, the human object of love of both the werewolf and the vampire. Stephenie Meyers has made another imaginary delineation between the Vampires that suck human blood and those that are vegetarian. This vegetarianism is a formulation of her mind. Vegetarian does not mean what is relevant in human context. Vampires, being vegetarian imply that they feed on animal blood instead of human blood. It was Edward’s father’s discovery.
The movie depicts both Edward and Jacob with immense physical strength. In one such instance of strength exhibition, Edward saves Bella from being hit by Tyler’s van. And Bella falls in love with the very charming, marble-skinned, 17 year old vampire instantly. And soon it is reciprocated by Edward too.
Werewolves are meant to keep the vampires in check. Jacob is the best friend of Bella. But with the Cullen family moving into Forks, the latent werewolf genes in the werewolves gets activated. Generally the werewolves have a lifespan and style like that of the humans- they live and die. But with vampires around them, their latent genes stir up and there is a werewolf population explosion.
The werewolves unlike the vampires have the choice of living like humans, growing old and then facing death eventually. But if they choose to become werewolves, then they gain their immortality and like vampires never age.One very effective difference between the vampires and the werewolves is that vampires are very cold and conversely the latter are burning hot.
Bella gets sort of sandwiched between an old werewolf best friend and mesmerizing vampire lover. These two imaginary species are believed not to be able to stand each other. Having visited the Cullen’s, when Bella goes to meet her friends and Jacob, they keep resenting the blood sucking, vampire-ish smell emitting from Bella. And the same happens when she has visited Jacob and then goes on to visit the vampires, she gets to hear the complain of smelling wolfy.
In the movie, the treacherous rivalry is worsened due to the liking developed for one human girl in her contemporaries belonging to each of the two species. Finally Bella long to be bitten y Edward so that she could join the league of immortal vampires since she is scared of ageing while Edward still remains impeccable at the constant age of 17. At the same time the rival werewolves have unwavering eye on the teenage girl and the story continues and unfolds gradually through the Twilight Series.
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Watch Vampires Suck Online
January 12, 2011 by TwilightMoviesUS
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Watch Vampires Suck Online
Posted: Aug 15, 2010 |Comments: 0
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I now know what it is like to die. We are all going to Hell, because only in a world ruled by Satan and devoid of a kind and loving God could a movie like Vampires Suck exist.
To put it another way, this is not a very good movie. It’s an utterly toothless satire of Twilight and New Moon, and if that pun made you laugh, then you’re in luck – a large majority of the jokes in the movie are puns ripped straight from the pages of a knock-knock joke book for third graders. This replaces the duo’s former tropes of lame Michael Jackson jokes and Brangelina adoption references. This movie actually shows Friedberg and Seltzer breaking some new comedy ground by exchanging some of their old bad habits for new habits that are bad in completely different ways. For example, there isn’t a single midget to be found, and only one character gets farted on. Also gone are the parade of endless pop-culture references and characters from random movie trailers. These have been replaced by… absolutely nothing. Vampires Suck may very well be the first comedy ever made that consists almost entirely of characters walking between set-pieces, and occasionally driving between them. Most of this is in slow-motion. Not all has changed, though – the movie contains the absolutely staggering amount of fight sequences and totally pointless dance-offs that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are known for. In fact, the last fifteen minutes are almost entirely made up of alternating dancing and fighting scenes.
Now, I know my usual thing with reviews of these kinds of movies is to go over every single joke, but I can’t bring myself to do that for this one. Not because the jokes are so excruciatingly bad, but because they’re so excruciatingly dull (also, because since the movie’s not out yet, I’m trying to keep my spoilage to the bare minimum as to not get sued.) At least Disaster Movie had the courtesy to be spectacularly atrocious. If anything, it exists as a time capsule of the very moment we, as a society, decided that having people dressed like pop culture figures walk onto the screen and state their name directly into the camera could constitute as an entire joke. Vampires Suck, however, is so unremittingly lame that mocking it seems almost cruel. For example, take the scene that parodies the part in New Moon where Bella drives a motorcycle really fast down a winding dirt road. In Vampires Suck, Bella drives a motorcycle really fast down a winding dirt road… while playing a guitar! Or, take the parody of with scene from Twilight where Edward watches Bella sleep. In Vampires Suck, Edward watches Bella sleep… while wearing curlers in his hair and applying Crest Whitestrips! How do you even make fun of something like that? It’s two minutes of setup apiece, and neither one ends in a complete punchline. It’s the cinematic equivalent of an editorial cartoon from Readers Digest. “Werewolf peeing on a fire hydrant” is ripped straight out of a Halloween-themed colouring book. “Vampires eat Count Chocula” is so lame it wouldn’t be printed on a box of Count Chocula.
Let’s try going over the very first scene in detail. The movie opens with Edward Sullen (if you’re already rolling your eyes, I highly recommend closing your browser window now) exposing himself to the Volturi at a Vampire-themed High School prom. Stripping naked in the sunlight, his body starts to glitter and his penis turns into a disco ball (this is the audience’s cue to march out of the theatre and demand a refund.) The Volturi stand around and apply sunblock while drinking True Blood out of 40oz malt liquor bottles. A swarm of women in Team Edward shirts, and another swarm of women in Team Jacob shirts, start duking it out with medieval weapons for no particular reason, except to introduce a running gag where Twilight is a series of books and movies that exists in a universe that’s identical to Twilight already, except with far more characters getting kicked in the groin. This gag later culminates into the cast going to the movies to watch Eclipse and spoiling the ending to the people waiting in line. It’s the kind of metahumor that Mel Brooks could pull off effortlessly in his prime. Vampires Suck, however, makes Dracula: Dead and Loving It seem like Young Frankenstein. It makes Stan Helsing seem like Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Anyway, Bella comes running to save him, leaping high into the air in slow motion, a gag that will be repeated approximately one hundred and eighty billion times by the end of the movie. A vampire with one giant middle tooth leaps in the air to stop Becca. The movie freeze-frames here, and it’s the last we’ll see of the Volturi again until this exact same scene happens again during the climax in slightly under an hour.
That’s less than two minutes of running time right there. By the 18 minute mark, there have already been two giant fight scenes, two incest jokes, a bowling ball getting dropped on a baby, the cast of The Jersey Shore showing up in a high school cafeteria for no reason whatsoever, and good look at a vampire’s Facebook profile (same as everyone’s, apparently). Twilight’s famous scene of a fan blowing Bella’s scent to Edward is parodied by having Edward put on a hazmat suit. A man gets his neck broken and screams in pain for a disturbing length of time. Bella farts in her sleep and blows Edward out the window. Edward shows he’s dangerous by shooting Alice and knocking her down the rabbit hole. Edward is attacked by a vampire squirrel. I’m not even skipping that much – the movie is really that devoid of jokes, and the ones that do exist really are that dire. The jokes that aren’t horribly disgusting are so juvenile they’d be rejected from a Saturday morning cartoon. Vampires put condiments on people, drink blood with a silly straws, wear false teeth, see the big picture by literally looking at a giant picture, and walk human-form werewolves on leashes. A vampire drinks someone’s blood by biting them on the INSERT FANGS HERE tattoo on their neck. The movie ends with Ken Jeong being made Prom King, a plot that was only introduced five minutes earlier, and Edward gets killed by a girl with a TEAM JACOB shirt. It’s even more boring to write about than it is to watch, and I can’t imagine reading it is any easier. And I haven’t even touched on the smaller gags, like how all the businesses in town of Sporks (yes, Sporks) are Vampire-themed.
There are exactly five punchlines that the movie recycles over and over again, and they are LOL VAMPIRES, LOL GROSS, LOL PUN, LOL GAY, and LOL BLACK. I’ve covered the first three in more than enough detail already, but the last two deserve a brief look. I’ve accused Friedberg and Seltzer of making movies that come across homophobic and racist in the past, and this movie isn’t any different. All of the buff, shirtless natives are flamingly gay and dance to “It’s Raining Men”, and the black vampire is perpetually stoned. The movie has exactly one black character, and he’s a stoner. In 2010. I honestly can’t remember a single black character from any Seltzerberg movie that wasn’t a massive pothead, or a single gay character that wasn’t flaming. I’m not sure how a script with a gay character yelling “Go get him, girls!” to a bunch of other gay men managed to get greenit in twenty fucking ten, but here it is!
The casting of this movie is just downright depressing. The head of the Volturi is played by Ken Jeong, who gets maybe five minutes of screen time, and manages to do absolutely nothing with it. His character is given no motivation or character definition, and his pasty white makeup ends up making him look like he has food poisoning. Dave Foley has even less screen time as the High School principal, and spends his few brief scenes on the verge of tears and with a look of utter self-loathing in his eyes. Diedrich Bader, who plays Bella’s father, gives the movie its single good performance, and occasionally manages to reel the movie in from “unwatchable” to just “bad”. The rest of the cast is passable, neither good or memorably bad. Everyone and everything is just so forgettable that I started hoping for a truly terrible performance just so something interesting would happen.
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Stephenie Meyer – A Woman Who Created Vampires in Forks
January 11, 2011 by TwilightMoviesUS
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Stephenie Meyer – A Woman Who Created Vampires in Forks
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Home Page > Arts & Entertainment > Stephenie Meyer – A Woman Who Created Vampires in Forks
Stephenie Meyer – A Woman Who Created Vampires in Forks
Posted: Dec 05, 2010 |Comments: 0
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They know very well who of them is human and who of them is vampire. However, when people are asked about Stephenie Meyer, they might just answer that she is the author of The Twilight Saga. They might not know a lot about her career and her achievements in writings. For that reason, this article gives you a brief biography of Stephenie Meyer, a woman who created vampires in Forks.
Stephenie Meyer was born in Hartford, Connecticut in 1973 but she was settled in Phoenix in her age of four with her family. She attended Chaparral High School in Scottsdale, Arizona. Then, she continued her study to Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah and received her B.A in English in 1997. She had never written a story before she wrote Twilight and even started to consider taking law school. However, the birth of Gabe, her oldest son changed her mind because she just wanted to be her mother.
Before she decided to be an author, she was working as a receptionist in a property company. However, her life then totally changed on 2003. She decided to write something, something that she had not done in a long time and that surprisingly bothered her. She began to think about the plot of the first book of The Twilight Saga Series.
It is quite interesting that she invented the idea of the plot during the day through swim lessons and potty training. Then, she wrote it into words and sentences in the late of the night when her house is pretty quiet, and amazingly she finished the first book, Twilight, in three months only. This book then reached its success in 2005.
Started from this year, she delivered the second book, New Moon, in September 2006 and the third book, Eclipse in 2007. In May 2008, she delivered her other novel, The Host, in the market and still in the list of bestseller more than a year after its debut. Then, the final book of the Twilight Saga was released at 12:01 midnight on August 2, 2008.
The Twilight Saga became more and more famous when Twilight the movie was released on November 21, 2008. It was directed by Catherine Hardwicke and starring Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan. Then, New Moon was released on November 16, 2009 in USA, and Eclipse also will be released on June 30, 2010.
Although she could be considered as a new American author, Meyer has achieved a lot of awards. They are A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year, An Amazon.com Best Book of the Decade…So Far, A Teen People Hot List pick, as well as An American Library Association Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults and Top Ten Books for Reluctant Readers.
Besides the Twilight Saga and The Host, there are still some works that you can find soon in the bookstores. They are Midnight Sun, The Soul, and The Seeker.
Frederic C Padilla wants to be a good writer so he tries to write articles in many different topics. You can visit his latest website to find out enough information about fitness equipment such as second wind exercise equipment that will be perfect product to maintain your health.
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